I feel a little naughty.

It's hard for me to temper my thoughts right now.  The TV is on.  My dad is watching "Hardball," a political show.  I would watch it with him.  I was helping him with the yard after we got back from the store.  We had fun, then.  I'm glad IMDb doesn't seem to break down.  I'll probably post on there to cool down and learn more social skills and how to deal with things.  I think I'm just gonna accept what comes my way.  I guess I just had to wind down.  I am not normally quite this ridiculous.  I try to be nice but interesting.  I'm usually pretty steadfast in being a goody-good.  I didn't think of it that way before, though.  I just thought that you had to be humble and submissive.

Thinking of other things now I should jot down, I don't understand why ... I guess I do now.  I think people think with my background that acting bad is not an excuse.

So, yea, I used to be kinda like trying to be interesting and have a purpose in life.  I feel it was robbed from me in the tumultuous events of the more recent past.  I was treated differently when people found out I was half Asian.  I've never had people be suggestive to me before much.  I think some people couldn't avoid it, in a way.  I just wasn't accepted like everyone else.  I said I was because I thought that was why I didn't blend in with how most girls my age looked.  Now, the past is gone and it's so sad.  I started on the internet to post late, age 21.  Now, I'm almost 26.  It's not late as in age, but I could have seen what it was like before.  I didn't think to post on the IMDb Message Boards until I got lonely posting about Johnny Depp and Tim Burton movies on MySpace and Facebook.  I don't know how the other people got there.  It took me a year to do that much.  I started posting like one post at a time on the Johnny Depp board for a week or month or few months.  I wondered why they got deleted, and I found it was because they get deleted over time.  I did look up things on the internet and sorely wanted to IM, but no one would do it with me.  My 1st times, I did find an interesting board on penguins.  It was a story with penguins in it, and it was so intelligent I couldn't retain it in my head.  I should have recorded it, but I lost it and was so sad I just didn't go on the internet and think to post because it was the best opportunity and I lost it.