Monday, May 14, 2012
Exemplifying Extreme Feminism...
...I guess some people are on top with dainty features! *crawls around and flaps wings, like a bird :| *
She does seem to care about my privacy.
I don't know what she's doing about that. My mom peeped in here like 5 times while I was on the phone and once before. I didn't walk the dog with my mom and brother. It seems to be operation more time of my brother with my parents because he's younger and feels his childhood was different, though he doesn't say anything. Ever since we moved to Orlando, my mom and brother had been irritating me. My mom stopped. My dad just seemed racist. It's such a change. I guess it was gradual. My brother was something of a goody-good. He messed me up when he got a dog. He told my mom, my mom told me, he got it because I didn't play with him anymore and he was sad.
My grandma called me back.
I decided not to tell her about not calling her. I guess I can call her. I'm allowed to call her earlier, but now I'm watching "America's Got Talent." So what? I'd be doing something else, anyway. :| She seemed to appreciate calling me. She was like extra friendly and I was doing better. I think she doesn't want me to get into when I don't call her, too.
Presenting Complex Things on the Computer
I guess, when all is said and done, we can come to the computer.
It's depressing that people get mad because they didn't take action to start a blog.
It seems, though, that some people are shying away from the internet more. They don't seem to be living fulfilling lives in lieu.
What I meant by saying all is said and done is that we deal with stuff harshly and then present it cleanly at the computer. We take our time, but eventually we have something to show for. I just think that that hasn't happened. I think people aren't ready.
It's depressing that people get mad because they didn't take action to start a blog.
It seems, though, that some people are shying away from the internet more. They don't seem to be living fulfilling lives in lieu.
What I meant by saying all is said and done is that we deal with stuff harshly and then present it cleanly at the computer. We take our time, but eventually we have something to show for. I just think that that hasn't happened. I think people aren't ready.
My Grandma and the Computer
She doesn't want to do the computer, for some reason. I really never call anyone, but I talk to my aunt on e-mail.
To Punish Me?
Well, she usually is very nice, but after awhile she got more critical and it really hurt me. It hurt me that we kinda argued. She got mad because I said I don't know if I'm gonna never go without eating a whole day. I yelled at her when she was speaking like I could barely hear in a funny way on purpose and hung up. She called back. I dunno, it's just honestly been hurting me a lot. So, that's why I don't know. Why call her, then? I know she's earnest, but it's like she knows I'm not ready. I knew that. I just felt pressured by other people to call her every day anyway, though she clearly understands some days I might skip. I even asked her what if it's too late. She said we just won't do it then.
I really like talking to my grandma.
She was the one who told me to call every day. I just am mostly concerned about if she wants to talk to me. Because I get tired and shy, I might have to still tell her I probably won't or might not call as often, maybe once a week at best to be sure. For some reason, I seem not to have time to do what I want. I don't know why. That's a sensitive issue for me. I just feel I'm settling my life, though I know my grandma is important to talk to. Like, I want to learn to write more online. I just like being online so much. I like time to jog, eat, and do the chores. In the end, I don't have much time if I follow suit in all those things because they entailed energy to prepare sometimes 3 meals a day for more than myself. Now, I have to fit in things with my brother getting more time in the main area of the house with my parents. That may be why. I mean, I can work it out. I dunno. We'll see. It's how my grandma feels. She won't tell me to stop calling. I'm also thinking she wants to call in the day. I'm not sure what her motives are. She seems through punishing me. She seems to wonder about how good I am these days. I guess I seem good now. :|
Another Change for the Better
I stopped wearing my soundproof earmuffs. I still like the fan on, and it seems to muffle outside noise. I can hear the cars, though, without my earmuffs. I don't know if I'll start wearing them again, but probably not. I'll just have to deal with what happens. It's okay, just kinda awkward. I wonder if some people wear them that tight as a job. They're like tight on my head, for things like mowing the lawn.
I guess I should ...
... do my sit-ups and push-ups, take a shower and bath, and call my grandma. Tomorrow, I'm going somewhere from 3:30 until not sure when but probably home by 5. I'm not sure if I'm eating supper tomorrow on time, but it seems like I will. I'm gone Friday from not sure when until not sure when but maybe like sometime in the afternoon until 10 or 11. Then, I'll be gone all Saturday, as well, so I'll be going to sleep when I get back Friday.
I guess I'm gonna take a shower ...
... and, then, call my grandma. She's probably watching "America's Got Talent." Hey, maybe I should watch that.
I'm getting up and going for a jog.
I guess I didn't go back to sleep.
Then, I'm calling my grandma.
Then, I'm taking a shower and a bath.
Bye!
Then, I'm calling my grandma.
Then, I'm taking a shower and a bath.
Bye!
We all want the same thing.
African-Americans think life is about being physical and appreciating dark features.
Being Too Skinny
People think some things are something you're going to do. Firstly, people in Florida are skinny. Secondly, they try to get even skinnier when they are famous.
Where You've Lived?
Do you ever feel people live copying you, like saying they follow what things were like where you're from? Johnny Depp isn't from Florida originally, and right now I am thinking of that age when I was still in a certain area of southeastern Florida.
Being Tacky
I thought being from more than 1 place made you less tacky. I don't feel I have less command as a person.
Certain Places
It seems all the places traditionally considered to be good aren't so good.
Hey, is it all about how you eat?
Hey, is it all about how you eat?
Orlando
I guess I was just unwinding from the New Orleans area upon living in Orlando. Orlando should be cool since it has Disney World and everyone visits. You get a certain empty feeling, though. I used to enjoy it more before the "n" word thing.
The Orlando Area
I live in an area that is considered wild. For some reason, it's a part of the Orlando area.
Not Caring
What is there in it in the advice that you shouldn't care about stuff, like if you're not perfect but in a way you can't change?
Eating Cheap
Part of it is a learned habit. I know my parents ate well. I don't know why they decided to "diet."
My dad had loads of beef, potatos, you know. My mom had tasty cheap food out of the U.S.
My dad had loads of beef, potatos, you know. My mom had tasty cheap food out of the U.S.
Not Nice
It doesn't really feel nice to know that people just want you to suffer and never solve what you did wrong.
Weird People
They will discover they haven't lived. They are so worked up over something and don't have the capability to think of anything other than superiority in thinking. I wish they didn't prize the glitches in life.
@TheEllenShow - Interesting Yet Shocking
You know, that's reeally funny because I was just talking about food and she went to school where I was born. Talk about being used. Who wants to dedicate their life in that particular way to food??? It seems we've had food troubles in Florida. I don't feel I can be healthy here like I was in the New Orleans suburb. I don't know. I mean, what is there to eat? I can understand if I ate out.
You know, I find it interesting she looks somewhat on target for her age, whereas most people look younger. I know I still look like I'm in high school. Maybe college. Actually, to me, too, she looks strangely old. I can imagine what her life was like in southeastern Florida. I personally don't like NYC. I've never been there. I did feel cool when I was changing planes there but stayed in the plane. I was alone and was 13.
I'm wondering if, like me, she started out eating cheap and then was able to experiment more and make better decisions. When you're focused on eating right, it really works. Having no white bread really boosts my esteem, I think. I mean, I'm not one to like give up bread. I haven't had it much lately. We have rice. It's okay, it's food.
I remember I hated eating corn. That was a staple of my diet when I was very little. It's funny how I've changed under my mom's tutelege.
Okay, something else obvious about Florida is that we seem to get a lot in way of self-esteem. It's like we've lived life when we haven't. It's strange when we realize the mistakes we make. In the New Orleans area, we always were able to live life figuring things out. My parents don't seem to be able to sort things being from the northeast and out of the U.S.
I guess, too, some people see themselves as perfect in certain light and are afraid in general to think outside of the box. They tend to go all the way, all the way for something. I'm thinking you've lived if you're not from Florida. About L.A., I'd rather not be there, neither. It's become to me, I think, like NYC. NYC is a place where like dark people and book writers live. That's okay, but I thought NYC was the place for families. I used to dream of living there, as a kid. I knew it'd be more physical than Florida. There is a very different feeling in certain areas of the country when you go there the 1st time and probably each succeeding time. (I'm not sure if I've heard the word "succeeding" used like this. Wait, I guess I would have because I think so now.)
Actually, I felt I wanted to be a writer and illustrator of my own books when I was 10.
I notice the little blonde at the bottom of the page. I thought that people prized their kids not only having white hair but white skin. Well, that's not what's important, but people still live in that fantasy. :(
I'm looking at all she's done and am glad I'm not from there. I guess I should consider myself from the New Orleans area. Where would I be today, otherwise? I think I was better off there. I still learned a lot in Florida, had a good base in a way. I didn't like leaving Fort Lauderdale, but it was interesting in other minor areas of the state. Well, they were major areas, too, but not like Fort Lauderdale. Supposedly, Fort Lauderdale is the epitome of Florida. I don't know how I know that. It's perhaps by watching people when I was young. Living in Fort Lauderdale suburbs is worth it. For instance, the boy at the beginning of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 is from the city Fort Lauderdale and so is the girl who played Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Johnny Depp is originally from Kentucky and some other places but mostly grew up in a Fort Lauderdale - Miami suburb. I don't know if he is like he is because he's not from there as a younger child or if it really is, like me, because of being from a suburb instead of a thinly-lived city.
I guess there are different ways of looking at the different places you are from, depending on where they are.
I seem to be at a loss being from the south. I seem to be following the beat of a different drum. I always was good but not aknowledged as such. I know I am grateful to my mom. I like my dad, too. I am different from them both, though. I eat very differently. I'm glad I was made into a different person. I always wished they were different, but, like, my mom I don't see how she could have been any different. I am different from a lot of people. It's interseting where I get my strength. Sometimes, I eat cheap, like now me shying away depressed while my little brother is home from college. I think my brother is still having superiority issues that are obvious like I had as a very young child. I'm glad I can make myself out to be attractive, with the assistance of the criticism of the world and both my parents.
I did learn from my experience ...
... of feeling upset with my grandma. Something good does always come out of the bad for me because I didn't mean to be bad and I guess because that just means something is wrong.
I seem to have cooled down since this morning in anger.
Well, not really anger full out. I'm just excited about how my life is changing. I just want to be on top of things as they should be. I'm kinda hiding out. It's hard to comprehend my situation. I feel trapped. It's just different with my brother around and anticipating calling my grandma back. I like my brother around. I think he thinks I'm weird, in a way. He likes quiet time alone with my parents out in the living area. I wonder why I feel funnier to eat supper. I guess I should have been eating leftovers to begin with.
I used to be so on top of my world.
I had the world at my feet. Literally! Now look! Things are okay, but I know I'm not really having a good time.
Things weren't right with ME.
... Now, I forget.
Like, there was something wrong with my talking to my grandma every night? At one point, she said something and things changed. I know that happened with my dad and I, too, when I was on edge. The same pattern keeps repeating itself in history.
Like, there was something wrong with my talking to my grandma every night? At one point, she said something and things changed. I know that happened with my dad and I, too, when I was on edge. The same pattern keeps repeating itself in history.
Discipline
It seems my parents expect more or got more. I have a feeling my brother copied me. Without me, maybe he would have been more of an experiment like me. He wouldn't have liked that at his station. :|
It seems some parents don't care about behavior but get mad a lot.
I'm wondering about ones that are comforting when you do something wrong like the world is made of logic. It just tells me that things weren't right in the 1st place. I was really let alone in college and came home trying to solve my lifestyle problems, like how I felt and posting on the computer.
It seems some parents don't care about behavior but get mad a lot.
I'm wondering about ones that are comforting when you do something wrong like the world is made of logic. It just tells me that things weren't right in the 1st place. I was really let alone in college and came home trying to solve my lifestyle problems, like how I felt and posting on the computer.
Okay
I think my family is okay with my depressing living habits. I'm in a transition. I guess I did a lot of good deeds in calling my grandma. We had fun. After awhile, it seemed just to be checking on each other.
Bagels
I had them with butter, cream cheese, or peanut butter. Now, I like PB&J toast. I have a feeling that's what I had for lunch when I was younger.
Eating Growing Up
In a way the Pop-Tarts worked. My mom was wary to get me those, but I so craved them that she gave them to me. I don't remember what I had for breakfast before that. I know in college at some points, I bought their huge breakfast but got tired of it, at least one of the times. It seemed fattening and didn't include pancakes, at least not at one college, though I dunno maybe you had to go somewhere else.
For lunch, my mom gave me a lot of meat of cold cuts at one point. It's hard to remember what I had before I was 10. I do remember being 2, though, and feel I have memories of earlier pictures.
My mom always cooked good suppers.
For breakfast, I had bagels when I was 12, when we moved to the New Orleans area. The funny thing is when I toured college I died when they said you might only have a bagel for breakfast.
For lunch, my mom gave me a lot of meat of cold cuts at one point. It's hard to remember what I had before I was 10. I do remember being 2, though, and feel I have memories of earlier pictures.
My mom always cooked good suppers.
For breakfast, I had bagels when I was 12, when we moved to the New Orleans area. The funny thing is when I toured college I died when they said you might only have a bagel for breakfast.
Being Overweight
I guess most people aren't gonna be all that skinny, so they become a full figure. It's probably better than being too skinny, depending on how much.
My Hair
My hair has been a recurring issue. I cut my bangs in early-mid 2010. I dyed and shaved it twice since. I'm finally letting it grow out. Right now, it's like a bob, but I cut my bangs. I'm growing them out.
My Real Problem
I guess I'm still full over of pizza. I was so hungry after that stale diet. For about 4 years, though, I think I've eaten pizza and hamburgers. This is no easy task to fill. I seem to be getting better, quickly. I think it gave me high cholesterol. I think the solely pizza thing was 2 years. I am nostalgic for 3 years ago.
Comments on "The Ellen DeGeneres Page" of Faecbook
"It's Classic Joke Monday! How do you make a taco stand? Steal its chair."
Huh? I didn't get that one.
"This is so cute it's stupid."
That baby is not quite all there.
Cheryl Porco-Moyer "@Christina Barrett: you are not all there!! LOH"
@Cheryl Porco-Moyer AHAHA
Huh? I didn't get that one.
"This is so cute it's stupid."
That baby is not quite all there.
Cheryl Porco-Moyer "@Christina Barrett: you are not all there!! LOH"
@Cheryl Porco-Moyer AHAHA
Depressed and Shy
:| Hm. Well.
So, I guess some people don't like certain kinds of conversation, like when you get too critical.
I just feel worse and worse. I think it's because I got upset at my grandma that one day I didn't sleep much. I shouldn't have called then. I think I will tonight. I wanna go back to sleep but don't know how much I will.
I wonder when I will feel better. I think I will after I actually tell my grandma I decided I don't feel like calling her every day because I think she wants a break. I'm not sure if I'll tell her that she's the one who wants a break. She'll know, though.
I'm gonna lie down. Sometimes, I think of something to blog about.
I guess I'm sad. I'm kinda clearing the way from my parents while my little brother is home from college. I'm always in trouble now because of that "n" word thing. It's just too much. I can't let anything go wrong. I know my family is uncomfortable. I have to go through all the hoops. I hope getting more sleep will help.
So, I guess some people don't like certain kinds of conversation, like when you get too critical.
I just feel worse and worse. I think it's because I got upset at my grandma that one day I didn't sleep much. I shouldn't have called then. I think I will tonight. I wanna go back to sleep but don't know how much I will.
I wonder when I will feel better. I think I will after I actually tell my grandma I decided I don't feel like calling her every day because I think she wants a break. I'm not sure if I'll tell her that she's the one who wants a break. She'll know, though.
I'm gonna lie down. Sometimes, I think of something to blog about.
I guess I'm sad. I'm kinda clearing the way from my parents while my little brother is home from college. I'm always in trouble now because of that "n" word thing. It's just too much. I can't let anything go wrong. I know my family is uncomfortable. I have to go through all the hoops. I hope getting more sleep will help.
I decided to wake up and watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."
I think I'll go back to sleep after I watch it.
I wish I would call now.
I'm way to sleepy for her. That's how I got in trouble last time. I didn't eat. I just want to stay in my bedroom. I'm hungry. Oh yea. I can go to sleep.
Shyness
I'm not one to talk on the phone forever. I feel kinda crazy. I really think she wants me to stop calling. I just hope I'm awake to tell her I might not call as much.
My Grandma
I'm too sleeepy to call her. She really doesn't care. She assumes something's happening if I don't call and goes about her business. I really am not welll.
I'm just clarifying how she functions.
I feel like I should have a part-time job. I don't feel well. Too bad about the "n" word thing. I might be okay, otherwise. I mean, I'm feeling good other than that. I know I am at a brink of catching up on sleep, though. I was settling how to function online, got all confused, you might say.
I'm just clarifying how she functions.
I feel like I should have a part-time job. I don't feel well. Too bad about the "n" word thing. I might be okay, otherwise. I mean, I'm feeling good other than that. I know I am at a brink of catching up on sleep, though. I was settling how to function online, got all confused, you might say.
Setting My Alarm
I guess I'll set it to see "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and to call my grandma.
If my grandma liked talking to me, I'd still talk to her. Maybe, I can, someday. I don't know what's wrong. I guess she needs a break and we can start up again later. I dunno. Maybe, I called her too late too many times, though technically she thought it was okay. I know she likes talking to me, but I think she needs her time alone. Maybe, she'd like me to call earlier. I dunno. It's not because of me, I swear it!
If my grandma liked talking to me, I'd still talk to her. Maybe, I can, someday. I don't know what's wrong. I guess she needs a break and we can start up again later. I dunno. Maybe, I called her too late too many times, though technically she thought it was okay. I know she likes talking to me, but I think she needs her time alone. Maybe, she'd like me to call earlier. I dunno. It's not because of me, I swear it!
Wow, there's a lot of blonde Africans.
I wonder why they're not ready to be famous. I guess they have more to live for. Funny how I don't. Blonde hair isn't everything. :o
Into This
Okay, I'm really getting into this African woman.
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2012/05/lisa_jarmon_sees_her_new_home_0514.php
Ellen may think she is, but there's something she just doesn't understand! :o
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2012/05/lisa_jarmon_sees_her_new_home_0514.php
Ellen may think she is, but there's something she just doesn't understand! :o
So, now I feel bad I haven't called her when she expected I might.
I didn't get to tell her yet I might not because I was too hurt to.
I think she wants me to give it a rest without telling me.
So, I have to tell her next time.
She's very harsh with me. I'm worried she has problems, but I've always been nice to her.
She's very harsh with me. I'm worried she has problems, but I've always been nice to her.
Tired
I'm feeling guilty about not calling my grandma without telling her. I was tired on Saturday, like half asleep. On Mother's Day, I didn't call because I was "celebrating Mother's Day" for my mom, but I will probably call her next year. Friday, she said I might be busy. I was gonna call her this morning, but I need to go to bed. I saw Ellen was up on her site, so I watched the videos that were up. I might watch them more. I guess I'm half asleep again. My grandma understands if I don't call. I feel bad. I think she can tell I thought the couple wanted me to call their 1-year-old daughter the "n" word on the internet as an ice breaker. I mean, I can have fun. It's just not the same as before. It seems like she wants to stop. For awhile, I wasn't talking at all for years almost. Maybe, I should go back to calling once a week like I did growing up. If my schedule gets stronger, I can talk to her on the phone some more. It's fun, but it's just that there's stress because of the "n" word thing.
I'm bored of my music videos.
I don't feel like posting anything anywhere. I'm not exercising because I'm going to bed soon. It's just funny I'm over most of my videos...
Not getting too detailed about it ...
... I want to know who in my shoes would listen to the signals that a couple and others wanted you to call their 1-year-old daughter the "n" word on the internet as an ice breaker, that they believed it was like a way to make the word seem friendly so a problem wouldn't come up. I don't think anyone else would. I think if they were someone else doing what I did that there life would be much worse and they would call someone that in real life.
Everyone should match up to a famous celebrity...
I found Ellen DeGeneres is partly from where I'm partly from is what I'm talking about. Most famous people are from L.A. and NYC. I connect with Tim Burton being from L.A. because I'm from Florida and always lived in the south.
I wonder why people used to grow up so fastly.
That's too bad. Even if they had kids, they should live youthfully.
Some people don't understand I'm young.
I guess they've already lived their lives.
They don't know what I knew.
They don't know what I knew.
They keep copying other people!
Just because I thought a couple wanted me to call their 1-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker. Why not get mad at them, instead, for doing that and trying to let their daughter know as though they didn't ask?
People keep acting like they're punishing me in a stimulating way. They are copying what other people do like a herd of sheep.
People keep acting like they're punishing me in a stimulating way. They are copying what other people do like a herd of sheep.
They've been adding their own twist, yet again.
...and getting involved in private things voluntarily.
People have been acting funny around me lately for some reason.
I just realized they were fixing a mistake in thinking, but some of it doesn't make sense. It really doesn't.
A Big Deal
So, I noticed certain people must make a big deal over a lot of things. Like, they back it up with a lot of ideas. I used to do that more. I don't know what happened!
Overly French
Why are young people today so avoiding the point? You're supposed to care both about that things seem more settled and that they're stimulating, you know in a good way.
I think I understand Ellen DeGeneres, now.
She doesn't act like that we all had to be movie stars as kids. She thinks even in old age it isn't right to have kids. I'm partly from where she's partly from. I know it's the kind of place where you hang around. You hang around and figure out stuff. You do real stuff. Things mean something. You get better and better from it. I was thinking you live your life and then by the time you're a young adult you marry and have kids. I guess I'm still living my life, but I don't think it will take me until I'm 50.
Cool and Disprespectful
Some people ultimately think they are cool and are disrespectful. Well, they are ultimately cool. They don't realize, though, that what they're into most is really worth something!
Movie Acting - More Things
I sometimes feel a sense of wanting others to get famous. I think we need to consider ourselves to infiltrate into becoming movie stars so people can start getting selected for big roles. I already put my stake on being the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Now, that's not so much to ask. I mean, think, a high quality actress willing to play a secondary role. Who'd appreciate it more???
I noticed I liked being in my room.
I have been at home not working for 6 years and out of school for 5 years. My brother has had a tight schedule of school and work, doing well, and he seems to want to sprawl out in the living area. I mean in a neat way, though, I guess.
Before, I liked going out. My room is the garage now, too, though, so I have room to pace and do stuff, like lots of room for singing and all my stuff fits etc.
It's nice to watch movies and be able to post on the computer, too. I don't know if sometime I'll want to watch this out in the living room, but I'm growing more attached to my room. I can't record "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" from in my room right now, though my dad wants me to be able to. So, I have to go to the living room to watch it.
I'm just here at home recovering. I'm feeling a lot better every day from my hectic schedule I've had for many years in my youth.
Before, I liked going out. My room is the garage now, too, though, so I have room to pace and do stuff, like lots of room for singing and all my stuff fits etc.
It's nice to watch movies and be able to post on the computer, too. I don't know if sometime I'll want to watch this out in the living room, but I'm growing more attached to my room. I can't record "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" from in my room right now, though my dad wants me to be able to. So, I have to go to the living room to watch it.
I'm just here at home recovering. I'm feeling a lot better every day from my hectic schedule I've had for many years in my youth.
Depressed
I still have to wait for my life to get perfect. I'm enjoying Grease, not trying to get it over with. I just really wanted to go to bed earlier. Also, it's cozy in my room. I started watching it in the living room before. I dunno. I just feel I have a lot to accomplish. This is my birthday week, too. I need to get cake.
So, I'm watching "Grease."
Even though my brother is in bed, I fear ghosts or something so am watching it in my room. I just saw another one today, actually, a big one.
Anyway, I might not watch it all now. I'm bored of the part with the adults, though usually I'm not.
Anyway, I might not watch it all now. I'm bored of the part with the adults, though usually I'm not.
Why take up 2-3 years of my life over nothing?
I mean, I thought someone wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker. If it's not supposed to be bad for me, why take 2 years? I know I've gotten far. Why can't people just realize I'm not guilty? I've had some good times. I guess I just have to improve this day by jogging again.
I mean, it just seems racist, the complications.
I mean, it just seems racist, the complications.
Part of the Problem Other Than My Declining Health
... was that some people wanted me to feel good about thinking the couple wanted me to call their 1-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker and then the only thing they did after that was make sure I didn't feel good about it!
What's so bad about my European side?
I realize I'm different from my dad and his family. Some people seem to think if they had my mom that they would be perfect and never get in trouble. It's silly because I've always tried so hard not to get into trouble but was always twisted in whole life of the meaning of my earnestness, which was sincere and fun, even.
Is my one flaw not being European?
So, if someone who were not half Asian thought a couple wanted you to call their, I guess, 1-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker and I guess because your dignity didn't matter in the end so it seemed to come up a lot ... then that person would be left alone by certain people? :'( That's nothing to be sad over. I just feel it's become a big deal, but I think people are realizing it's not as bad as death and definitely not as bad as torture. I don't know how bad torture can get, but I'm assuming harm comes in the middle of the 2 and death is the worst. I am worried about the facts because some people seem to would rather die than be derailed, which isn't that even why wars are fought? No one seems to have come to this point, yet, but me. I think the fact is that war is wrong. I am uncomfortable and pity the girl because she seemed to think what I did would be fun. No, I don't think my parents like that. They should have told me before. They could have. It's just not right. These things already matter, and this was really bad. :'( I just like lost my life. I don't deserve it. All I do now for fun is like post online and I am really thankful for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" because I like it and it's interesting we've lived in the same area. I'm kind of sorting through things about what I did. Life can be hard, but it seems to be getting better for some reason. I like just being at peace alone in my room on my computer on the internet. I post on IMDb. I sing. I watch myself singing. I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and find it interesting all the time. I post on my blog. Anyway, the topic being not being mostly European, it just feels it's worse, which it always is. I just wonder if it would be totally okay with people if you were all white.
Something Asians Notice|Think
So, it's funny when people are under a certain illusion of the truth but don't seem to grasp the truth. I wonder how that slips away from their minds.
Eyes
I should be going to bed or I'll stay up and watch Grease.
Anyway, I think my eyes used to be different. I'm wondering if they always had the black lines in them. It's kind of a dominant trait on a recessive color. I've burned my eyes out to green. They were dark blue when I was little. Then, they got brown. As an adult, they're always green. I've been on the computer a lot, though.
It's funny how I ended up like this. I wonder if most people have more complex eyes than me, though. My hair looks light in the light often and dark otherwise. It's interesting, but I'm just not out in the day a lot. I don't know why I'm like this. It's changed colors throughout my life. It's pretty easy to get it to go light. It's just like that. I feel very different from blondes. I feel kinda in the middle about how fair my eyes are. I think I can easily connect with people with dark eyes, though.
Anyway, I think my eyes used to be different. I'm wondering if they always had the black lines in them. It's kind of a dominant trait on a recessive color. I've burned my eyes out to green. They were dark blue when I was little. Then, they got brown. As an adult, they're always green. I've been on the computer a lot, though.
It's funny how I ended up like this. I wonder if most people have more complex eyes than me, though. My hair looks light in the light often and dark otherwise. It's interesting, but I'm just not out in the day a lot. I don't know why I'm like this. It's changed colors throughout my life. It's pretty easy to get it to go light. It's just like that. I feel very different from blondes. I feel kinda in the middle about how fair my eyes are. I think I can easily connect with people with dark eyes, though.
Tonight
Okay, I'll be doing different things, maybe go to sleep a little early.
I'm not sure exactly all I'll be doing.
I'm not sure exactly all I'll be doing.
So...
So, people thought it was wrong that a couple wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker but not always thought that in the process.
I just realized something.
You're not supposed to do something if it's gonna make a worse effect. You might think it's practice. Really, it's possible not to mess up.
If I supposedly am so bad of a person ...
... to think a couple wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker ... I forget what I was gonna say. Oh, what am I gonna do? I think I'm dealing with my life and getting better all the time. I feel so bad, though, but I forgot what I was trying to solve. Ah. I feel like I'm on some sort of a spree.
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