I guess people randomly feel like punishing me.

I honestly think it's a fetish.  It's because I thought a couple and others wanted me to call the couple's 2-year-old daughter the "n" word on the internet.  I wish they had it together, like figured that's what happened, rather than try to test if I'm guilty for a few years, lingering on it as punishment to make the little girl feel better.  I don't think I'd have done it, though, if I didn't feel like I got a sign to do something weird like that.  1st, they did send my a symbol that I was the "n" word, which seems as good as saying it.  I got a weird feeling I wasn't welcome as a fan of the father, and, for some reason, it felt like I had to ask why the girlfriend was with him if she had brown hair.  The father seems to be for the "American dream" of blonde hair for the girls.  Also, the girlfriend is part Jewish, which I found cool, and I'm part Chinese-Indonesian.  That was very unnecessary and done for fun.  I'm not in total trouble, but it's like I can't focus sometimes and can't make a point.