I really get the hint that...

...my grandma kinda doesn't want me to call if I'm not ready...

Well, I dunno.

Setting a Bad Example

Some people only get certain things it seems about me.  I'm worried that people are thinking curse words are funny because they'd come to pop in my head though seem to be going away.

I just need to get it together.

I have to be the right way around my family.  It was a little hard, lately, and now my little brother is home from college.  He might be doing some things, though.  Now, I'm hungry for chocolate.  I guess tonight I'll make a milkshake with vanilla ice cream and chocolate powder.

Last time

my brain felt empty from staying up so long singing and watching the videos of me singing and not eating.  I was timid because my little brother was around and seems to like time to himself and with our parents.  I did eat supper, today, and feel good.  I probably will, unless I somehow get on a different schedule, sometimes.

When I called my grandma last...

...she seemed okay with if I didn't call.  She really wants me to call when I feel good because I guess we're prone to disagree.

I hope I feel better, tomorrow.

Eye Doctor

I feel funny about when I went in and thought of those curse words.  I think I can deal with it, though.

TV

I wanna catch up on some TV.  I can do it while my brother is in the living room because he's usually on his computer, too.  He's been in his room this evening with the light on.

I kinda wanna post on IMDb, though.

I might go to sleep soon.

I'm debating calling my grandma.

I kinda wanna jog and kinda don't feel like it.  I know I shouldn't call if I don't feel up for talking, so I might not.  I just don't want anything to go wrong.  There are times I called I know I shouldn't have now.

I'm probably calling my grandma soon.

I'm considering jogging, too.

Time

I guess it will just take me time to lose weight.  I too long didn't eat healthy.  I jog and do sit-ups and push-ups but don't actually feel like it right now.  I am skinnier today from I guess the resting which must have processed my metabolism.  My double chin doesn't feel quite as bad, neither.  I don't know how fat I am, but I know I look funny.

Oh well.

I'm thankful parents care about their kids.

Dieting

Awhile ago, I started dieting and even stopped taking my psychiatric medicine as much since I thought it made me hungry to eat at all.  I started eating again but more normally and things are going well.  I had been eating more unhealthily in the more recent past.  I lost my weight through dieting rather than changing my diet, like by just not eating as much for awhile.  I hope I regain stamina, or start to gain it for once in my more recent life.

Trapped

I've lost a lot of desire in doing things.  I need to get my life together.  Partly, I'm letting my brother be in the house without me around, I think.  I'm okay with that.  I still have the freedom to ask my dad to take me places.  I'm just glad I'm home now.  I used to not wear makeup and nail polish, so I guess I'm a little tired from starting things like that.  I also was doing chores more for awhile, somehow.  Well, I know, though, there was just 1 day when I prepared all 3 meals.

Goals

I can't wait until I finish my ironing.  I need to start being awake during the day.  I mean, it's fun being up late, too.  I need enough sleep.  Who doesn't?

Having Things Together

I wonder if most people have it more together than I do.

Staying out of Trouble on the Internet

If I got online sooner, I would be less likely to get into trouble.  The internet is so confusing, the way people post.  Like, there's I know IMDb as the big message board, but I've been other places.

It's hard to stay happy.

I wish I got online sooner, when I was still sane, to set a good base.