Is my one flaw not being European?

So, if someone who were not half Asian thought a couple wanted you to call their, I guess, 1-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker and I guess because your dignity didn't matter in the end so it seemed to come up a lot ... then that person would be left alone by certain people?  :'(  That's nothing to be sad over.  I just feel it's become a big deal, but I think people are realizing it's not as bad as death and definitely not as bad as torture.  I don't know how bad torture can get, but I'm assuming harm comes in the middle of the 2 and death is the worst.  I am worried about the facts because some people seem to would rather die than be derailed, which isn't that even why wars are fought?  No one seems to have come to this point, yet, but me.  I think the fact is that war is wrong.  I am uncomfortable and pity the girl because she seemed to think what I did would be fun.  No, I don't think my parents like that.  They should have told me before.  They could have.  It's just not right.  These things already matter, and this was really bad.  :'(  I just like lost my life.  I don't deserve it.  All I do now for fun is like post online and I am really thankful for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" because I like it and it's interesting we've lived in the same area.  I'm kind of sorting through things about what I did.  Life can be hard, but it seems to be getting better for some reason.  I like just being at peace alone in my room on my computer on the internet.  I post on IMDb.  I sing.  I watch myself singing.  I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and find it interesting all the time.  I post on my blog.  Anyway, the topic being not being mostly European, it just feels it's worse, which it always is.  I just wonder if it would be totally okay with people if you were all white.